woensdag 1 maart 2017
I am actually working on another piece of text for my blog but it takes time to finish it, which i don't have at this moment, but it also needs other peoples contribution and also those people need time to prepare their input. The text will be about the racism and other formes of oppression whiteness made me and others subject to in the Antifa movement. Since things are really becoming annoying i will already respond to all the hierarchical bullshit some Dutch Antifa are engaging in. I write about them as 'incidents' but it's oppressive behavior that occurs and repeats itself all across white social construct. Yet from people that claim to be antifacist you might expect that they take responsibility for this kind of behavior instead of what i'm about to out in this text. I need to do this because these racists are even trying to manipulate my housemates and also think their whiteness ligitimizes them to do this. Not all of the people that afiliate with this group are actively engaging in following but they also don't speak out against it. Passiveness in oppressive situations is choosing for the oppressor.
It all started the first time i met this group calling themselves "Antifa Utrecht" i was invited for an anti NVU meeting to organize a counter action. When i engaged this meeting i could clearly feel the hierarchy, everything i suggested got refused especially by a certain female socializing person i'll call C. I thought it was really strange that a completely white anti-racist organisation rejects all the input a non white person had. I decided for myself i didn't want to have anything to do with these people again. White people aren't there to tell non whites what is and what is not effective against racism, especially since i already did a lot of effective actions against racism and because they don't experience racism themselves. To make things even worst about this meeting, a few days later i received an email in the mailing list that said something like: "don't take strangers into our meetings, people live here". As a non white person you know this kind of feeback all to well, this is a micro agression non white people receive from white people constantly. Two persons that also were at that meeting later told me they recognized and apologized for the racist and hierarchichal atmosphere there was in that meeting, confirming all the signals i received as being whitness and racist. When this same group came for a meeting in our living group they behaved rude and again hierarchical even suggesting that they would not share all information because maybe not everybody was to be trusted .. these a-holes were in our squat and still they didn't have the decency to leave their entitlement and ego's at home. I wasn't there that day but i think i would've kicked them out.
Some weeks ago this same group created a racist and sexist situation around a non white female volunteer in political cultural café ACU, this person got attacked by this Antifa group for de escalating an argument between some male Antifa and another customer. The masculinity of the males didn't agree in the de escalating strategy and the two female antifa, J en J went in for the attack. They went to two white male co-volunteers to complain about this non white female person, giving power to white males over that non white female. I think it's important to tell you that there were also female co-volunteers at the scene, why do they go to the males? The non white person later told she felt really harrassed and bullied by Antifa and her co-volunteers. To make things even worst one of these white female Antifa, lets call her J, asked to be present at the next ACU collective meeting and again she went in for the attack saying this non white female volunteer was drunk, lazy and unsupportive to that Antifa group that night and she acted really wrong. This was racist and hierarchical behavior because the accusations were false, everybody at the scene comfirmed that J and J were drunk and the volunteer as sober as could be.
ACU had a person that is responsible for intersectionality in their collective and that person was assigned to facilitate a meeting between the volunteer and the Antifa person J. This person responsible for intersectionality came to ask me for advice since it clearly was a racist situation. Somehow Antifa found out about this because later that week something else happened but i first need to explain about another incident that influenced the current status quo.
While all this was happening with Antifa Utrecht i got into a racist situation myself with an antifa activist i'll call J.K. It started already a couple of years ago when this anonymous fb account that pretends he's this super anarchist and anti-hierarchy activist started attacking me and other non white activists because we did not want to accept his white perspectives on anti-racism issues. We told him it's not up to him to criticize non white anti-racist organizations and that, as a white person, he could only stay in the background as anti-racist because if he wanted to enforce his white perspective on something he doesn't experience, like racism, onto non whites that would be an act of white supremacy. He would try to influence or maybe even discourage the fight against the system that benefits him that way, so he should stay far away from being in this position. If not, he was litterally attacking our selfdefense against oppression, this would only benefit the oppressing social construct which he is member of. When we told him this he came with the same bullshit as white supremacists present when told the same; stuff like reverse racism, calling us fascists and being this authority about stuff he doesn't experience. I showed J.K. all this when this person tried to frame me for being a silent cop. J.K. didn't do anything against that and even though we showed her evidence of his racist tactics she kept on engaging a friendship with that person she knows privately. I started to see this as a growing problem because i need to be able to rely on the people i do direct actions with and J.K. was also a frequent visitor of the squats i live in.
At one moment J.K. started to defend this racist and attacked me on social media when he again harrassed me and i finally had enough. I wrote J.k. a message to say that she created an unsafe environment for non whites and for that i can't be linked to her in any way. Hours later i received a message saying she wanted to send me an email and i responded that i didn't want any email because i already made up my mind. She sent it anyway. The mails we sent over and back were clearly a white person defending another white person she knew for ages while a non white experienced racism from him and had to keep proving this over and over again. He actually actively tried to sabotage all our anti-racism actions, if that is not to be called racist than what is? All things i pointed out from my non white perspective were dismissed and the racism and microagressions i experienced were stuff she didn't believe, while i showed her many times before. She said that she was so busy that she could've been forgotten them. What kind of ally keeps forgetting oppressive behavior towards the people they claim to be ally for? To be short, she (white) different in 'opinion' with me (non-white) about the person being a racist. The times i got a euro for white people deciding for us what's racist and what's not could've made me rich. White people that put their opinion about racism over our ability to recognize the microagressions we experience thousands of times in our lives are just plain racist. Stuff she never experienced in her life she will question because she knows a person privately? Whiteness bubble alert! I sent one more email back with examples and proof of things i stated in previous mails, explanation on questions she had asked me in previous mails and a requests to sent me evidence about her frame about DENK being linked to fascists and Turkish nationalists. I asked these because she criticized me for wanting this political group in Dutch parliament while they are according to her pro Erdogan. I said i don't reject a non white political party, with anti-racism in their program on rumours and racist frames a fascist newspaper start spreading. At least i wanted to see the evidence for her claims, otherwise it would be racist framing on non white people that actually spoke out in public denying those frames. Instead i got a mail saying that all communication ended. Here's a white person forcing me to communicate about my struggle and when i do so she stops communication when i start asking critical information. I guess it's safe to say this racist protecting person created an unsafe environment for me. And put me in oppressive situations. Luckily i have let other Antifa and other non white activists read the mail traffic between us as proof because when i wouldn't have done that all following might have become a succesfull racist campaign to exclude me from their safe bubble. I actually wrote an article on anarchists that act in a way it collides with anti-racism. You'll find it under this link:
After my call out towards J.k. i left a few days for my hometown to get away from all this b.s. but when i returned shit really hit the fan. People from my living group came home from political and social café ACU telling me that i was banned from ACU because J.K. did so much more for the movement than i. Turned out J.K. had contacted all antifa to make sure that i was excluded from all meetings and demo's they were organizing. Talking about hierarchy and racism... J.K. not only refused to act on a call out from a non white antiracist, that saw her as a friend and invited her in his house, but she also used her white boys network to try to exclude the person she put in that racist situation and did nothing more than call her out.
This racist working at ACU, i'll get back on him later, even sent me a threat that i better should stay away from ACU after a counter demo against Pegida. I heard this days after otherwise i would've definitely dropped by since i also went to the demo.
When people heard this attempt to exclude me there were people backing me because they knew about the whole situation because i showed them all the emails. But there were a lot of white Antifa choosing her side without even asking me for my perspective on it. One white Dutch antifa did ask me, the rest just took over the bullshit and spread it even more or they just didn't care and still talk to me because they have seen this too many times already. Whites closing there lines because a non white points out a racist situation, reproducing the capitalist system in an anti-capitalist movement, anti racists being racist. Funny part is that a couple of her actions were organized from my house and half of the people present at those and other actions were brought there by us. Also we organized several events to collect money for the legal costs from some actions she organized and we took part in. They appreciate that ofcourse at least they say, but that doesn’t mean non white people have any right to speak out about racist situations. No, when you call out a racist situation you even are banned from spots like social political café ACU because that racist did so much more for the movement. I still laugh loudly when i think of how ridiculous it is.
One of the male members of ACU, the one that actually sent me that threat, i already had issues with in the past. Lets call him H.F. He joined the anonymous troll it all started with in framing me of being a silent cop and he also tried to force his white perspective on what is effective for antiracism on non-white activists. A male doing that to a feminist will be called a sexist but he never understood that him doing exactly that to non whites is white supremacy. I managed to explain it to him and he seemed willing to civilize himself untill ofcourse he had a chance to prove his loyalty to whiteness. He framed me in Barricade collective chats for saying shit like "house nigger" when people would disagree with me, first of all i will never use the N-word and second of all i already explained the use of "house slave", which we do use and is actually behavior researched by phd Joy deGruy and even Malcolm X uses a version of this. Funny thing is that J.K. even spread this blog herselve on her social media account. In following link i explain why anti-racism uses the phrase 'house slave' and why forbidding me to use this is actually denying my indigenous identity.
That is not all there was said in those chats. I received screenprints from people that took part in that chat and also want this racism to stop. He tried to use the same frames of me supporting a Turkish nationalist movement as J.K. and said i was calling Turkish people white supremacists because they also that said that about DENK. I did say this to Doorbraak, to the white persons i already exposed for agressively harrassing me in my pm for not accepting their white perspectives on anti-racism. Funny thing is that the movement he speaks of themselves published a whole article that minimized the frame about DENK being connected to Turkish nationalists, their solid evidence for those claims were nothing else than some questions they addressed to two members of DENK and weren't answered as they pleased. They also wrote in that article that the suggestion of a connection to any Turkish nationalists could be a result of identity politics instead of an actual link. They also claim in that same article that they are a white antiracist group by the way.. The article also received a lot of criticism for saying they, Doorbraak, don't want to enforce whiteness standards but were doing it anyway in that same article. This group he protects even says that criticizing Israël is anti-semetic, undermining the whole anti-colonialism movement and legitimizing a colony, by calling it the state of Israël. They say that we musn't speak of Israël as the biggest violaters of human rights the world etc. As an anti-colonialism activist this repulses me. How dare some white self proclaimed anti-racists criticize people that have been colonized and know exactly what it does to indigenous people? How dare they demand us not to call colonialism the worst atrocity ever done by humans. Colonialism is responsible for cultural genocide on a global scale and erased millions if nit billions indigenous identities.
Anyway this racist even went that far with another male racist and sexist that its part of ACU collective, lets call him S, to not only try to exclude me but to go and try to manipulate people i live with, including non whites. The other white male actually asked me if he could take part in our actions against colonial glorification. That is how hypocrite he is. Anyway they even have the arrogance to think they have entitlement to approach the people from my living group and that people will fall for their racist manipulative bullshit. The whiteness went through the nose right up to the ego.
When the female socializing person responsible for intersectionality at ACU heard all that happened she also came clean to me about stuff she went through in the ACU collective. Those two males were putting her under pressure about the racist situation with the Antifa Utrecht group she wanted to act on but they sabotaged all the efforts. Finally they also started to gaslight her with sexist shit like saying i was brainwashing her about the J.K. situation. I mean how high do you think of a female person that you actually assigned to be responsible for intersectionality when you say some male person has the ability to brainwash her about stuff she is more than qualified to analize herself. They also used ableism on her framing her as a 'psycho'.
Together with her and others we agreed on fighting this hierarchy and oppression in Antifa Utrecht and in ACU, i received al lot of evidence to prove all the racism and sexism i mentioned and along the way we also heard ACU excluded a whole group of queer and trans friends because they tried to call out ACU for the transphobic, queerphobic and racist atmosphere a cis white male from the collective created.. this went horribly wrong. They actually banned a non white person for years for calling out a collective member for racism. It was clear to us that this behaviour of protecting cis whiteness was repeating itself over and over again and that is also why i'll publish all of it. We have to stop this hierarchical excluding bullshit and claim the anti-oppression movement back from this subculture.
Lately i hear sounds from all over the socalled 'anarchism' scene that several Antifa Utrecht members are talking trash about me behind my back. They say that i talk bullshit to others about them, i never spoke with anybody except for members of our collective and anti-racism activists whom i showed the mail traffic between me and J.K. I never said something that wasn't true. I did attack a racist and whitesplaining status on the Antifa Utrecht page and i also spent several statussen on my Facebook on distancing myselve from that subculture. I am autonomous and i will not agree with announcements about nazi demo's being unimportant and about not taking action against them. There are more people in Utrecht that identify with Antifa than that tiny white bubble, Antifa that actually do stuff against fascists except for boring banner drops. These people actually listen to what non white fellow activists think instead of this white savior activism of people that don't even have non white people in their movement and chase away those that actually want to combine forces. Still these people want to announce bullshit in every Antifas name? Most people don't even want to be linked to them.
Can you imagine that these members of this Antifa Utrecht are so racist that they even spread an email on the antifa mailinglist that was about me and the unrest i caused by that call out and self defense i had to use against their racism that followef the call out. In that mail they litterally said that they will have to speak about me with two white Antifa i live with. They don't even let me speak for myself but need other white people to correct me and talk 'sense' into me. I said it before: none of these people did any effort to speak to me, some of them are even friends on my facebook but do you think i'm seen as a party that should be taken in account? Yeah, this white dudebro said this week to a person from our house that maybe he would like to talk to me about stuff. Like he is the one that decides that that talk will happen, especially after their racist behavior he is not. He could've talked to me before they started talking trash about me, now it's damage control. And i don't even want to be associated with them anyway, what should we speak about? His approval? They do worry about me putting all their whiteness behavior out in public, that is their only concern, not even the violence they used on me and others. I put stuff out in public because they didn't approach me at all but obviously had a lot to say about me. What are they expecting from me? That i let myself get excluded by a racist mindset and framing and just shut up and take it? That i first accept their hierarchy and wait till it's my turn to speak? NO! I am an anti-racist and i will NOT be tone policed, i will NOT think about oppressive peoples reputation and i will NOT compromise with oppression. I ended three friendships because of racism and after those hard decisions i will certainly NOT let some white subculture treat our struggle to survive as a hobby. I do NOT need this hobby club to be an antiracist, antifascist or anti-oppression in general. Unlike them, i am that already simply because i need to survive in this society and it's the only way i can walk around with dignity even though i face many intersections.
They worry about their reputation and they have all the reason to worry because i will publish all the hierarchical, racist, sexist, transphobic, queerphobic and ableist shit that happened. This appropriating Antifa symbols and anarchism already went way to far and it's time to decolonize these movements and free them from cis whiteness. So yeah Antifa Utrecht and ACU, worry about your reputation, you can still save it by taking your responsibility and start cutting out the racists and by publicly distance from them and apologize for all the mental violence you caused the marginalized groups you excluded while protecting your cis whiteness oppressors bubble from any consequenses. But i advise you to not wait to long. I will do the things that i do anyway, i never needed you for that and i will not need you or your approval anytime to do that. I have the comrades that i need and them i do see doing the best they can to free themselves from the powerstructures society forced on us.
So, what's it going to be? Are you becoming civilized and decolonize your bubble? Or do you really want to challenge people that will fight you for poisoning our struggles with hierarchy and cis whiteness? You know that for me it makes no difference and you should know that we are not alone in this...
Tic tac tic tac, time is almost running out...